Have you ever been in a moment where you knew you needed to move forward, like you could not go back even if you wanted to? You know that sinking feeling where you want to become fear’s prisoner, but your will won’t let you be taken captive?
You know, like when you’re on the edge of the diving board at swim practice.
Or, when you have to take a major exam…or you are in the doctor’s chair for some major procedure?
That’s how I feel right now.
Why?
Because my baby is going to camp for the first time.
Don’t laugh. This is a big deal!
He’s nine and he’ll be over an hour away for over three days. I literally…can Not…BREATHE!!!
But, I have to let him go. He’s never been away from me for over two days, and he’s never been where I couldn’t get to him in 20 minutes tops!
I have to let him go because he’s going to a camp for kids with food allergies. The kiddos get to do everything at a “normal” camp, but they don’t have to carry around their backpack of inhaler, Benadryl, Epi-pen, and whatever other needs they have because the food will be specially prepared for their specific allergy. Jacob even gets to eat dessert! This is HUGE for a kid allergic to soy (in everything), peanuts (he could die), and shellfish (he could be extremely sick).
So, you see. He must go. I don’t know how he’ll be. I don’t know how the other kids will react to him or if he’ll make friends. I don’t know if he’ll be homesick. I don’t know if he’ll get hungry at night, the room will be too cold or too hot, if he’ll get enough to eat during the meals…i…don’t…know!
But, God knows. And, Jacob’s experiences are for his lifestory, not mine.
So, I exhale and move forward…trusting God in whom I’ve entrusted my son.
And, I know he’ll be just fine (but, I still wrote him a letter for every day he’s gone. 😉 )
