My hand therapist made me cry today. 🥲 She stretched my fingers beyond what I would ever do myself. I could even feel ripping inside, which I yelled out through my tears (I also accidentally hit her–reflex). 🫢
She told me I have to learn to push beyond the pain because the pain is necessary. That ripping I felt was actually internal scar tissue ripping away. If we don’t stretch past it, my hand stays in a claw position, which I will not want.
She also gave me exercises that go against how safe and careful I’ve had to be with my tendons. Now I have to unlearn what I was doing and actually begin actively using my hand–baby steps. And, she told me to be more aggressive with massaging the scabbing. New skin is growing underneath and the scabbing is blocking its ability to break through
Ironically, I had been seeing the pink skin under the scab on my wrist, but was scared to touch it because I thought my sutures would rupture. Once I went beyond fear and removed it, I saw how nicely it had healed.
What God is teaching me:
- Trauma hurts. But, healing hurts too. The scabs that are the biggest and deepest have to be massaged the greatest because the new skin that must break through can only break through if the scab is massaged, loosened, and falls away.
- Healing means unlearning what you once relied on as you progressed through the trauma in order to survive and thrive.
- God can’t fix what’s broken in us, y’all, if we don’t let him massage our scabs. Newness WILL break forth if we’re willing to move past the pain of brokenness and embrace the hurt of healing.
